I DO hope you know how important I am.
I’ll have you know that BOTH Joe Biden and Donald Trump have been emailing me this week — a LOT.
YES, I even heard from the president’s people AFTER he tested positive for COVID-19.
(And now I can’t stop writing capitalized words because my good friends do it SO OFTEN.)
Biden took the time to email me Wednesday, the day after the big debate in Cleveland.
“Every time we’ve asked our grassroots supporters for help to counter Trump’s lies, you’ve stepped up and had our back with a surge of donations,” he told me.
“I wanted to reach out personally and thank you for your support. This campaign wouldn’t be the same without you. … If you can, will you help us kickstart October by making your first donation to my campaign?”
Just think, a candidate for president would accept money from the likes of little ole me!
And it’s not just Biden; running mate Kamala Harris reached out as well.
“Are you free tomorrow?” she wanted to know. “I’m so excited to invite you to tomorrow’s grassroots fundraiser with President Barack Obama.”
I’m sure she was crushed that I wasn’t there, but I had to de-worm the cat.
Oh, but that’s nothing compared with those sweet somethings I’m getting from the president’s people.
Just listen to this, sent Thursday from Kimberly Guilfoyle, head of his campaign finance committee:
“President Trump chose 100 of his VERY BEST supporters from around the Country to join the EXCLUSIVE Trump 100 Club, and you were one of them…This is a huge honor. The Trump 100 Club is the most exclusive group of Trump Supporters in the entire Country.”
And all I have to do to join is “contribute any amount.”
And how about this exclusive offer from Trump himself: “Can you come to Los Angeles with me?”
“I’m hosting a very important event soon, and rather than spend my time with the Hollywood ELITES who HATE US, I want to spend my time with REAL Patriots, like YOU. Will you join me as my VIP guest? … Please contribute ANY AMOUNT TODAY to win a chance to meet me in Los Angeles, California.”
Dang, didn’t see that at the end so I went to the wrong Los Angeles.
Earlier Thursday, the president told me, “Despite everything the Left has thrown at us, YOU have never let me down, which is why I am proud to let you know that you’ve been identified as an Official Trump MVP. … All you have to do is make a contribution of ANY AMOUNT and you’ll automatically reach MVP status and become an Official Trump MVP.”
I know by now you’re jaded green with envy, so I do have to caution that these people can be very sensitive.
From Trump’s son Eric Trump: “You’ve always been one of his strongest defenders, which is why we were surprised to see you didn’t step up to help us reach our End-of-Quarter Goal.”
This came Thursday from Team Trump: “President Trump is asking about you. We recently told him that you haven’t signed up to be an Official Trump Text Member…
“The President really thought he could count on you to be one of his top supporters, so he asked us to personally reach out to you. … The President has asked to see an updated roster TONIGHT, and we don’t want to give him another list without your name on it.”
They must not have liked my lack of response, because Friday afternoon this rolled in: “This is important. We need to know where you stand. The truth is, President Trump is worried he’s losing your support, Friend. It’s time for you to send a clear message and publicly stand with President Trump and become an Official Trump Text Member.”
And THIS unsubtle hint right at the end:
“The President has asked to see an updated roster TONIGHT, and we don’t want to give him another list without your name on it.”